Whatever magic tricks Simon the Sorcerer has stashed up his goofy-looking hat, a spell for getting his new games published clearly isn’t among them. After two successful classic adventures in the mid-‘90s, Simon’s developers were essentially forced to reinvent the franchise in 3D for a third instalment in 2002, which proved such a dismal failure that it never did make much headway in international markets (though many would say that’s a good thing). The series appeared left for dead after that, but as any Simon fan knows, being dead isn’t necessarily permanent, and sure enough, German studio Silver Style Entertainment delighted many in 2006 by announcing another new chapter in the Simon series, Chaos Happens. Easing concerns about a new developer at the helm was the fact that series creators Simon and Mike Woodroffe would be consulting on the new game, and better yet, that the series was returning to its 2D point-and-click roots. Simon fans couldn’t wait!

…

But they did wait. Then waited longer. And waited some more. They waited through promising new screenshots and updates. They waited as the game was completed and released in Germany. They waited for word of an English publisher. They waited even after news of an English publisher. And still they wait. Okay, some resourceful fans probably capitalized on an unpublicized multi-language European release, but those who tend not to frequent Greek game shops are still waiting. Will we ever see it get widespread distribution in English? That remains to be seen. But after all this time, is the game even worth caring about anymore? That question I can address, as I recently played through a finished preview version of the game provided by its publisher, Playlogic.

In loading up Chaos Happens, one thing is clear from the outset: the series has never looked better, at least technically. As advertised, the game has returned to using prerendered graphics, and the new environments are impressively detailed while still maintaining a stylized look that suits its whimsical setting. It won’t dazzle you with cutting edge effects, but it’s a very polished point-and-click adventure. The slightly blocky character models rank below the scenery, but not distractingly so since close-ups are few and far between. And though the landscape certainly isn’t teeming with activity, there’s enough ambient animation to give the Magical Kingdom a spark of life.

That’s only after you get there, of course. The game begins with a teenaged Simon in his regular earthly home until a freak accident triggers a vision that beckons him back to the world of fantasy and fairy tales yet again. Once transported by your trusty wardrobe, you’ll emerge as Simon in familiar sorcerer’s garb to begin your new adventure. Newcomers will have no problem jumping straight in, but series fans will instantly recognize returning faces like Calypso, Goldilocks, Swampy, and the demons, while once again revisiting old haunts like the crossroads, blacksmith’s shop, and the troll bridge. Conspicuous by their unexplained (and unquestioned) absence, however, are the likes of Runt, the woodworms, and most surprisingly, the evil Sordid. Replacing the villain of previous Simon adventures is… well, Simon himself. It seems a Simon doppelgänger has been running free in the Magic Kingdom doing unspeakable horrors. Unspeakable for Simon, that is. His clone is a conscientious, organized neat freak who’s as boring as he is predictable. In other words, nothing at all like the smart-mouthed, morally questionable wannabe wizard we’ve come to know and love. Who is this double and why is he up to such repulsively upstanding things? That’s for Simon and players to find out.

Speaking of horrors, many who have seen the game’s trailer are probably already having nightmares about the voice acting in Chaos Happens. Indeed, gone is the protagonist’s British accent of yesteryear, replaced here by a generic American dialect. This alone may be a deal-breaker for some, though apart from series continuity purposes, there’s no particular reason why Simon has to be British. The bigger problem is the quality of the acting itself, across the board. While there are some fairly solid performances from secondary characters, Simon himself is hit-or-miss, interspersing perfectly acceptable lines with awkward ones. The issues are never grievous, just enough to sound unnatural. This is even more pronounced with Simon’s double, whose ham-fisted vocal affectation suggests he’s more of an idiot than obsessively organized. Swampy, meanwhile, sounds like a pre-pubescent Yoda (minus the wisdom), although come to think of it, that might be what he always sounded like. Even he’s not as bad as Little Red Riding Hood, who’s obviously voiced by a grown woman, and a cringeworthy, foul-mouthed one at that.

Such trash talking has historically been Simon’s domain, but the teen wizard seems to have mellowed in the years since his last adventure. There are still flashes of the old Simon cheek, but often his attitude seems a fairly mild, watered-down version of its former self. He’s still light years from being politically correct, but the edge isn’t quite as sharp as in previous games, perhaps in part because of translation issues from the game’s original German. At times that means the laughs are fewer and farther between, though there are certainly chuckles and silly fun to be had, and Chaos Happens never takes itself too seriously, even to the point of frequent self-referential humour acknowledging it’s a game. There’s quite a bit of dialogue, as you’ll frequently talk to the scattered denizens of the Magic Kingdom (and beyond, in a place I won’t spoil ahead of time), and many conversations include non-essential choices that are clearly just for kicks. The lighthearted banter is part of what makes the Simon games appealing, but if you do find the pace lagging, you can always speed read through the optional subtitles and click through the conversations faster.